The Night of Excalibur
by yuni30
Summary: Stein tells his version of the "T'was The Night Before Christmas" explaining an annoying run in by one of the most irritating characters. I own nothing...


**Hi there! Just thought I'd share this with you guys... I shouldn;t have to explain... especially if you read the summary! I own nothing but my imagination. **

It was the Night before X-mas,

And all through Death City,

No one was aroused, not even Lord Death- Which wouldn't matter really…

The beakers were set in my lab cabinets with care,

Absent of chemicals that once were there.

Spirit was asleep- shivering in fright,

Possibly from my latest experiment yesterday night,

Marie sound out, I shall take note,

And I beside her in my white lab coat.

When on the grounds, there was such an odd sound,

And to discover this oddity, this insane bout of noise to be found,

I jumped from my hospital like bed, so serious and brash,

Marie awoke and followed while I opened the window with a loud crash!

The moon grinned brightly over head as always,

Sending light through the gap and into my stitched hallways.

As I looked around, my eyes spotted something,

Eight little fairies, looking back familiarly at a creature so annoying.

"Oh no…" I announced, gaining a familiar face,

For there in the sled, was a _very _familiar disgrace.

A white fish-bird-man-thing pointed, "Fool!"

And as Soul Evans would say, "This isn't cool."

He spun the sleigh into a clearer view,

And I instantly wished, I could perform experiments on him- just for me to.

They landed there, in front of one of my arrow trees,

The poor fairies' wings were twitching like bees.

The white thing called Excalibur,

Hopped from the sleigh in a blur.

He spied on my window, sadly I was awake to observe.

This decrepit annoyance I didn't deserve.

He climbed through the window where I and Marie stood,

His blank fish eyes, stared hard and good.

"Fool," he yelled, as he always has,

Then tapped on the ground in rhythm like a spazz.

"Excuse me, Excalibur, sir?" Marie politely inserted,

And "Fools," The annoying holy sword blurted.

I waved that aside with ease,

And asked, "Since your obviously filling in for Saint Nick, our presents if you please?"

"Ah yes, your gifts but first the 100 provisions you must follow!"

He rolled out a long list, obviously wanting us to know.

I gave him a glower- a distasteful glare,

And announced, "Forget the provisions, Excalibur, and leave them over there!"

I motioned to my patched up tree,

And the thing turned his head to see.

"Oh no... That will not DO!

You see, only presents under the finest trees that were hand grew!"

I let out a sigh... my patience was thin,

"If that's the case, go back where you've been!"

I shouted-then added: "Back in that cave as a sword!

No one's going to be your meister, as annoying as you are, and that is my word!"

"Fine then... I'll be going then~!" He cheered.

He climbed in his sleigh and pointed to his mockery of reindeer,

I and Marie rubbed our temples as he cried, "On Fool! On Fool! On Fool! On Fool!"

And Soul would be right, "Most definitely un-cool"

He called out, to our minds' dismay,

"Merry X-mas! Fool! And off and away!"

We climbed back into bed,

And soon we found one memorable word in our aching heads:

"FOOL!"

"And that, Spirit, is what happened last X-mas Eve...," Stein nonchalantly ended. Spirit hugged his shaking body while glaring at the cheeky scientist. "D-did you really experiment on me last year," he asked in sheer fright.

Stein shrugged at Spirit's last statement. "Maybe, I can't remember..." Stein began to turn the bolt in his head until it made a 'Click'. "Ah yes... I believe I sewed your left ear to the side of your right cheek, stretching your ear lobe," Stein noted, hiding any hint of joke in his voice.

Spirit ran to the mirror in the men's bathroom and began to check his left ear and right cheek religiously. "He-he... Still falling for it, Spirit...," Stein commented as he began to chew on the death stick in his mouth and walk out of the bathroom.

Spirit directed an irritated gaze to his friend's back. "Damn you, Stein… Still can't believe you joke on touchy subjects like that," the red haired man muttered as he left the bathroom.


End file.
